


Hurt and Confusion

by flarrow_huntbastian



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt Barry Allen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pain, Protective Oliver Queen, Rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-04-22 10:47:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14307027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flarrow_huntbastian/pseuds/flarrow_huntbastian
Summary: Barry is missing and only one person has the power to find him.When Oliver finds him it's not what he expects. How will he handle the situation?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a re-vamped version of a fanfic I posted on Fanfiction.net. If you are interested in reading the original its posted under the username flarrow.huntbastian and it's titled the same but the fanfiction will be removed from Fanfiction.net sometime during the next few weeks xx

It was mid September morning. Sunlight was falling through the window lighting up the bed. The sheets were crumpled and strewn messily across the mattress. Although the sun was bright and warm the bed was long discarded and cold.

Seasons soon changed to reveal the glow of October and chill of Autumn. The bedroom was quiet and placid. The bedroom was clean and almost untouched but still the bed sheets were strewn messily across the mattress and the bed was cold and long discarded.

Christmas came and no tree went up. No lights were shining. No presents were opened. The season forgotten and the bedroom was empty. No one would enter no one would leave. The room was cold and still.

Summer crept back in quietly. Everything was calm. The bed was still cold and the curtains were now closed, stopping the light from entering. The door to the room was closed, no one could enter an excuse was given "Oh I'm just re-decorating".

The seasons changed and years went by but still no one entered the room. The only bedroom inside the house was untouched since that September morning.

"Have you tried calling him?" Asked Cisco from behind his desk.

"What do you think?" Replied Joe getting slightly frustrated. Iris was pacing the room and Caitlin was relabeling some chemicals, when the fourth argument of the day between Cisco and Joe kicked off about Barry's absence.

"We haven't heard from him in over three months Cisco. Of course I'v tried calling him!" Yelled Joe.

"Well I'm sorry Joe but it's hardly my fault" replied Cisco trying to stay calm.

"Have you been to his apartment?" Asked Caitlin trying to take the heat of Cisco.

"No one's home. I've tried. No one answers and there's never any sound from inside." Replied Iris.

"I have an idea" said Cisco suddenly.

"What is it?" Asked Iris eager to know.

"I'll call Felicity. Maybe she's seen him."

Cisco got up and walked out with his phone. Once he was out of the others earshot he dialed Felicity's number. She answered quickly.

"Hello?" She asked,

"Hey Felicity. I need to ask a favour. Something only the arrow can do."

"Yes?"

"Can you pass me on to Oliver"

"Sure, yes"

There was a moment of silence then Cisco heard Felicity say something and then an annoyed groan before Oliver said down the line, "What do you need?"

"It's about Barry,"

"Yes…? And"

"Well he's kinda gone missing"

"Wait what? Please elaborate on missing?"  
"Well no one's seen him in over three months. He's not been answering calls and his apartment appears to be empty, and by that I mean, no one answers and it's always silent inside. Also no lights are ever on in the evening. Also the Flash has made no appearances either." Cisco explained.

"Okay,"

"I was just wondering if the Arrow could check Barry's apartment and have a look around Starling?"

"Ugh, sure Cisco."

"Thank you."

"No problem.

"Bye.

"Bye".

With that the two hung up.

There is some hope yet though Cisco with the first happiness since Barry vanished.

That night Oliver left the Arrow cave in full suit to break into Barry's apartment to look for clues as to where he went. He'd let Felicity in on the mission and so he had her in his coms to keep him company. It was around midnight when Oliver landed silently on Barry's apartment balcony. He looked through the glass to realise the curtains were closed, and by the way they hung it was clear to him that they had not been open in a while.

He carefully picked the lock and entered to see that he now stood in a bedroom. The walls were painted white and the floor was oak wood. He ran his finger along the dresser to find a collection of dust upon his finger after doing so. He then opened the drawers to find clean, neatly folded shirts and trousers. These too has a thin layer of dust over them. He turned to see the bed. The white sheets looked clean although the duvet was messily strewn across the bed and it too had a thin layer of dust across it. Oliver decided that before moving on he would lay the sheet neater. After doing so he noticed Barry's phone by his bed. He tapped the home button to see it had 80% charge. Oliver looked at the notifications to see that every text and misscall had been viewed, even ones from earlier that day. That means someone must have been in Barry's apartment. Also why would Barry disappear without his phone.

Oliver turned to the bedroom door and opened it to see in front of him not what he'd expected at all. He walked forward slowly towards the sofa where Barry lay asleep under a thin blanket. He was going to wake the sleeping boy up before he realised how tired and broken he looked, so instead he left him alone. Barry was clearly shivering, it was then Oliver noticed how cold the apartment was. He made his way over to the other arm chair in the room and pulled a blanket off it and laid that over Barry also. He then made his way to the rooms thermostat and turned it up after realising it had been on 0 for over a month. He decided to take off his hood and change into some clothes he had in his bag.

Once he was more comfortable he noticed what a mess the table in front of the sofa where Barry lay was. Carefully and quietly picked up the discarded coffee mugs and took them to the sink. He then gathered up the used plates and placed them by the sink also. Next he collected the rubbish dotted around and put it into the bin before washing and putting away the dishes.

While doing this he quietly spoke to Felicity,

"He's here. He appears to be asleep on his sofa and his bedroom looks untouched and ut looks like it's been that way for a long time."

"Oh. Should I call Cisco and let him know?"

"No, not yet. I don't really want them all to come around here. He's not even up yet. He looks so broken and tired. I think it would be best to wait".

"Okay"

"Well I'm going to stay here with him until I know what's going on. You should head home and get some rest".

"You sure?"  
"Yes, go home Felicity its two in the morning".

"Okay, goodnight"

"Goodnight".

Oliver had a lot of questions to ask Barry but right now he was going to let the young boy sleep.

Now was not the time for answers.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .......... "You said something was wrong with his leg. What's up?" ..........

  
The room was dark and then very bright, a woman stood in the middle of the room. She turned around to face him.

"Oh Barry, Barry. My baby boy" she stepped forward,

"Mom." He replied.

"Oh Barry…" A black blur ran across and grabbed the woman. She screamed as she got carried away.

"MOM MOM NOO!" He screamed.

"Barry, wake up Barry!" Oliver yelled shaking Barry lightly, "Barry. You need to wake up. Now!"

"Mom.. come back mom. Please." Barry cried.

Next the room around him changed. A man turned around.

"I love you son. You're the best son I could have asked for." The man said,

"Dad…" Said Barry,

The man fell to the floor and the black figure was stood behind him. The man on the floor was bleeding and slowly died at Barry's feet.

"DAD NO!" Yelled Barry,

"Barry you NEED to wake up," Said Oliver getting more and more worried at what Barry was yelling.

"Barry, Wake UP!"

Barry shot up into a sitting position. He slowly curled in on himself and started to cry and shake.

The sight made Olive slightly uncomfortable but it made his heart ache for the boy.

"Barry, it's ok. You just need to calm down. Please" Oliver saw no change in the boys stance and so he slowly slipped in behind where Barry was sat and he held the crying boy tight to his chest in his arms.

They sat like this for a while before Oliver heard the faint sound of a phone ringing. He soon realised that the sound was Barry's mobile. Oliver made a move to go and get it only to be stopped by Barry,

"No." He said,

"Why not Barry?" Asked Oliver gently,

"You just can't"

"Can I at least go and turn it off?"

There were a few minutes of silence before Barry slowly nodded his head.

When Oliver got up Barry curled in on himself tighter than he had previously. Oliver walked into the bedroom and when he read the caller ID he knew he needed to answer.

"BArry! OH MY GOD Barry!" Yelled Cisco down the phone,

"Not Barry, Oliver" Replied Oliver,

"Oh Oliver where are you?"

"I'm at Barry's, I found him. He's here but he's in terrible shape. His apartment was a mess when I got here. He was asleep on the sofa and the bedroom looks like it's been untouched for months."

"Oh, is he okay though?"

"Well he like he hasn't shaved in awhile. He looks pale and like he hasn't eaten much either,"

"Right, well it's only early in the day. Do you think he'd be ok if I came over later in the afternoon?"  
"Uh, come in the evening"

"Ok, I'll bring takeout since you said he hasn't eaten much."  
"Ok. Well I'm going to go. And check on Barry."  
"Ok. Goodbye"

"Bye".

Oliver walked back into the living room to find Barry sitting with his feet on the floor and his head in his hands.

"Barry are you ok?" Asked Oliver concerned,

"Why are you here Oliver?" Asked Barry looking up. The look in Barry's eye hurt Oliver deeply, they looked so sad and in pain.

"What do you mean Barry?"  
"You should have just left me alone. I'm fine"

"Barry can you please just take a shower and then we can talk properly. You really don't look healthy and I think it would help".

"I would, but I can't" said Barry looking down,

"What do you mean Barry? What's wrong?"

"I… I can't.. Oliver" said Barry slowly getting frustrated, "You wouldn't understand".

Oliver slowly crouched down in front of Barry and laid his hands on Barry's knees gently.

"Please, let me at least try and understand Barry. Let me in"

"I, I can't s… I can't stand Oliver."

"What, what do you mean Barry? Why can't you stand?"  
"I can't stand up Oliver," when Barry said that he pointed down at his legs. Oliver slowly moved to lift up the leg of Barry's sweat pants. He paused when Barry clearly flinched. Once Barry relaxed slightly Oliver continued.

Oliver slowly lifted up Barry's left pants leg. He saw Barry look away. When Oliver saw it he had to try hard to stop himself from gasping.

Barry's leg looked pale and running thickly through it his veins were a mixture of purple and black.

"Barry, how? What happened?"

"I was stupid. Please Oliver just leave,"

"Barry, let me help you."

"What?"

"Look you need to shower and change out of those clothes".

"I told you I can't!" Barry said getting very frustrated,

"Let me help you, I'll help you shower".

It took a lot of coaxing but finally Barry agreed to let Oliver help.

Oliver slowly pulled Barry to standing but once he was standing he practically fell back down only to be caught by Oliver. Instead Oliver decided to carry Barry into the bathroom. Next Oliver helped Barry remove his top and slowly helped him remove is sweats. Last he decided to remove Barry's underwear. He took it slowly while trying not to embarrass Barry unless it was completely unavoidable.

Next Oliver sat Barry in the bottom of the tub and he turned on the water but he didn't fire it towards Barry just yet. He waited for it to warm up first. Next he slowly put the water over Barry'd head and he carefully washed Barry's hair for him. Next he slowly washed the rest of Barry's body. He then turned off the shower and he got a towel and wrapped Barry in it before lifting him out and carrying him into the bedroom and sitting him on the bed. Next he went into the draw and got out a clean pair of sweats, underwear and a clean grey top. Slowly he helped Barry get dressed before he told Barry to stay put for a minute.

Oliver then came back with a razor and shaving cream. He then covered Barry's face with shaving cream. He started slowly shaving his face and made sure it was clean before wiping the remainder of the shaving cream off. Next he carried Barry back into the living room. The whole time this went on Barry didn't look Oliver in the eye. He just looked down at the floor.

Once Barry was sat on the sofa Oliver decided to make some breakfast. When he came back to the sofa he handed Barry a plate of eggs. Barry just sat staring at it.

"Barry you need to eat?"

"I'm not hungry,"

"Barry?"

"I said I'm not hungry"

"I'll force feed you if I have to Barry. You have to eat"

Barry didn't respond and so Oliver walked over to Barry, picked up the fork and started to feed him but Barry wasn't having any of it.

"Barry you need to eat."

Barry was trying to get away. Suddenly he was on the other side of the room. Before he fell to the floor.

"Barry!" Oliver yelled running to Barry's side, "Barry, please don't pass out on me"

But it was too late, Barry was unconscious.

....................

"Barry? Wake up Barry?" Said Oliver concerned for the younger boys health. He knew why Barry fainted and he knew what he had to do. Barry seemed out cold and so he carried the younger boy into the bedroom and carefully laid him under the sheets before walking into the living room and giving Cisco a call.

"Hey!" Said Cisco,

"Hi, can you get over here. Bring Caitlin but please don't tell the others where you're going" replied Oliver,

"Yeah sure but what's wrong?"

"Barry's been refusing to eat, there's something deeply wrong with his leg so he can't even stand. Also he fainted"  
"We're on our way".

When Cisco and Caitlin arrived Oliver let them in and sent them through to Barry's room. When they got in there Caitlin literally gasped.

"He looks so small." Said Caitlin. He walked over to him and started by checking his temperature.

"You said something was wrong with his leg. What's up?"

"Here take a look," Oliver lifted the blanket and showed Cisco and Caitlin his leg.

After some examination Caitlin came back with the conclusion that it's some form of blood poisoning, that his body is having a hard time beating due to a lack of nutrition.

"Do either of you want a cup of tea or something?" Asked Cisco from the kitchen.

"No thank you" Said Oliver,

"Uh, Cisco I'll come and help you" Said Caitlin after inserting an IV bag into Barry's limp arm. Before she went into the kitchen she stopped and saw how worried Oliver was and so she laid a hand on Oliver's arm, looked him in the eye and said "He will be okay. You know that right? He just needs some time."

Oliver just nodded and pulled up a chair to sit by Barry's bed. Caitlin watched Oliver gently stroke Barry's hair before she closed the door and left the two of them alone.

"Barry looks so small" Said Caitlin when entering the kitchen,

"Yeah. Oliver is so worried about him." Replied Cisco,

"I know. It's weird seeing him like this"

"Who, Barry or Oliver"

"Both. I just wish we could tell Joe and Iris"

"Well we can't Caitlin. I don't particularly want to have to explain to Oliver why they show up here after we told him we wouldn't tell".

"Ok. We should go."

"Yeah"

Caitlin and Cisco entered Barry's room to find both him and Oliver asleep on the bed so instead of telling them they were going, they decided to write a note and just leave quietly. But Cisco couldn't help but take a picture of the sleeping pair before he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave Kudos and a Comment!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .......... "Barry, please talk to me? Open up?" Asked Oliver ..........

 

"He left you, they all left you. You're injured. They don't need you. You're disposable"

"Shut up, Shut up shut up shut up!" Barry was rolling around yelling, trying to get away,

"Please, shut up" Barry started to cry.

"Hey, shhh, shh, its okay" Oliver woke up to find Barry curled in on himself.

"Barry, please talk to me? Open up?" Asked Oliver

"O..Oliver." Started Barry, "I… I've lost s..so much. And I get.. T..that you've lost things too…"

"Barry, its okay" Oliver pulled Barry close as he continued,

"But I'm n.. Not like you, Oliver. W... it all becomes too much, what do I do."

Barry went quiet. Oliver could tell there was more and as much as he wished he didn't he pushed Barry.

"Please Barry. Keep talking, I want to help you"

"I… I…. can't" Barry started to cry again.

"Shhh,shh it's okay Barry" Oliver whispered pushing Barry's head into his chest, keeping him close. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Its okay."

"I'm sorry. I am so so sorry" Cried Barry into Oliver.

Barry cried for quite a long time into Oliver's chest before he once again drifted off to sleep.

He must be really tired, Oliver thought as he carefully slipped out from under Barry. He carefully tucked him in and he walked into the living room.

Oliver was so worried about Barry. Barry had never acted like this before, he was always so sure of himself. So in control. Sure he blamed himself for mistakes, but never has someone dying made him act like this. What happened that he wasn't letting on?

"Get off. Don't touch me! You don't get to touch me!" Yelled Barry.

Oliver instantly ran in to find Barry sitting up in bed.

"Go away!" He yelled directly at Oliver,

"Barry, it's okay I'm here"

"Get out! Get out get out, get out!"

"Barry please talk to me, I'm here for you"

"Why? Why are you here?"

"Because I care,"

"You don't get to care! NOT after what YOU did!"

"Barry what did I do?" Oliver said calmly,

"Don't say my name."

"Barry, calm down"

"Go away!"

"Barry, I'm not going anywhere"  
Barry broke down, he was sobbing and crying. Oliver started to move forward towards him.

"No, stay away Raz! You don't get to touch me. Please… not again…. Please… it hurts, stop. Please Raz. Stop!"

It hit Oliver. Barry was hallucinating. Barry thought that he was Raz, whoever Raz is.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .......... "Razz no…." He said quietly. ..........

Barry sat and cried. Every time Oliver tried to get remotely close he'd shuffle away and curl in on himself.

"Barry it's me Oliver?"

"O..Oliver?"

"Yes. It's me Barry" Barry kept his eyes covered.

"Please make him stop"  
"Who Barry?"  
"Razz"

"There's no one here Barry".

Barry slowly looked up to see Razz was 'gone'. He instantly got up and tried to throw himself at Oliver for protection but his legs gave out and Oliver had to catch him.

Oliver carried Barry into the living room and sat on the sofa with Barry in his lap.

"Are you ok?"

"I… yeah" responded Barry,

"Barry be honest please?"

"I'm fine. I'm sorry" Barry tried to shuffle off Olivers lap but Oliver wouldn't allow it.

"Barry talk to me. Tell me what happened, who's Razz?"

Barry was quiet for a few minutes, he was thinking. Before he finally said, "My boyfriend".

Oliver was taken aback. Barry was gay? How had he not seen it. Barry. His Barry was gay. No not his Barry. Just Barry.

"Your boyfriend"

"Well I suppose my ex" said Barry, looking away. Not daring to look in Olivers eyes.

"Why your ex?"  
"He took away something. I… It was supposed to be…. Special. But one night he came home. So… so angry…. And upset…. H… he just…. Took it….He made it his and I can never get it back."  
"What did he take?" Oliver knew what it was but he needed Barry to say it out right or he couldn't do anything about it. It made Oliver's heart break when Barry broke down into tears again.

"He used me… Made me dirty. No one will ever want me…. I'm so broken and used and disgusting. He just took what he wanted and I let him. I let him strap me down. It's my fault he hit me. I was just such a mess up, I deserved it. He was the only person who loved me and now I've got no one and it's all my fault." Barry began thrashing around trying to get away from Oliver.

"It's all my fault. The pain the blood. It's my fault it happened and I walked away but he told me, he said if i left I'd go running back and he was right. And then he took it, and left me but I deserved it because I didn't give it to him. He just took it."

"Barry, did he rape you?" Oliver needed a straight answer. He already knew it but he just needed Barry to say it.

"N… no no no. Its my fault"

"Barry, did he rape you? Did you consent?"  
"No… He just took it but its my fault"  
"Please Barry answer the question. Did he rape you?"

Barry's whole body froze. That's when Oliver knew he was right. Barry nodded slightly and started to break down even more so Oliver pulled him in tight to his chest and just let him cry it out.  
Olivers heart broke for Barry. He was so young and it hurt to think of the things that had happened to him. Oliver could only imagine the torment Barry had been through with Raz.

"I'm not going," said Barry,

"Barry you need to. I'm sorry. But you need a check up. Your legs still not healed. You need help" said Oliver trying to reason with Barry. He didn't want Barry to know Cisco and Caitlin had been to the apartment so he tried to convince Barry to go and see them.

Oliver tried but in the end decided to leave it for the day. He sat with Barry until Barry had fallen asleep practically on top of him.

24th Of December 2016.

"I'm sorry Razz. It was all my fault. I shouldn't have run away. Take me back please".

"I knew you'd come running back."

"I know. You were right. I'm sorry. I'm nothing without you Razz."

"Come here and prove it then".

Barry walked forward to Razz. Just when he was in range Razz took a swing and him, punching him directly across the jaw line. It hurt but Barry kept form.

Razz then grabbed him by the hair and spun him so he faced the opposite direction to him. Razz forced Barry over the table a few feet away and began to rip Barry's trousers off.

Barry tried to keep strong. He never wanted this. This isn't what he meant.

"Razz no…." He said quietly.

"You wanted me to forgive you," Barry stayed silent, "So you'll take it like a good little bitch".

Barry cried as Razz thrust in, one, and again, two, again, three, over and over again, four, five, six, seven…..

When Razz was done he saw Barry's broken pasture and form. He grabbed Barry by the collar of his shirt and threw him out the door.

"You pathetic piece of shit", he said closing the front door.

Barry was left out in the cold. All he had on was his shirt and his pants, that were in shreds.

Barry just walked. He didn't really walk anywhere. He found himself outside of STAR labs. He was going to go in until he realised Cisco was still there and he couldn't risk him finding out. So instead he kept walking.

Half an hour later he found himself outside Joe's. I can't go in there he told himself. He knew Joe would hate him, look down upon him for the way he let Razz treat him, because of course he was just a dirty little bitch.

He walked more. He came to Iris and Eddies. When he saw through the window they were having dinner he knew he couldn't go in. What would they think of him. He was just being dumb thinking they would care. He would just be wasting his time.

He ended up home. He went into his apartment, not turning on any lights, he just locked the door, sat on the floor and cried. He just cried and he couldn't stop. He felt the blood coming out of all of the cuts Razz had given him but he just didn't care anymore.

After a while he realised there was something caught in his leg. There was barbed wire caught right in his calf. He knew he should get Caitlin to take a look, but he also knew that she didn't care about him so why should he. He ended up just ripping it out and curling up, continuing to cry until he fell asleep.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .......... "Why didn't you tell us you'd found Barry!?" ..........

Cisco was showing Iris photos from the last time he was in Star City when Caitlin and Joe called him over. He told Iris to keep looking while he sorted what they needed to. Iris was scrolling through them when something caught her eye.  
"What the hell Cisco!!!" She yelled getting up shoving the phone in his face, showing the picture of Oliver and Barry asleep in Barry's appartment. She continued yelling, "Why didn't you tell us you'd found Barry!?"  
"What?" Asked Joe unsure of whether to be angry or sad.  
"Look guys let me explain?" Asked Cisco,  
"No, no no! I don't even wanna know. I'm going to see him." Said Iris getting ready to go to his appartment.  
"Iris I don't think that's a good id..." Started Caitlin but Iris cut her off.  
"No! I'm going to see him." Iris stormed out and Joe followed close behind, still unsure of what to feel.

* * *

  
Oliver walked into Barry's room to see him sat up on the bed staring into space.  
"How are you feeling?" Asked Oliver, sliding onto the bed, putting his arm around Barry and pulling him close.  
"I... I'm not good..." Said Barry. The fact Barry was telling the truth made Oliver happy but his worries outweighed the happiness because Barry wasn't even trying to fight anymore. This showed how weak and tired he really was.   
"Talk to me Barry. What's going on in there?" Asked Oliver, while gently wiping Barry's hear off his forehead. As Oliver did this Barry fell into Oliver touch and rested his head on Oliver's shoulder. As Barry started to talk Oliver continued gently stroking his hair.  
"I feel like... like every things shifted." Oliver didn't say anything but continued playing with Barry's hair to show he was listening. "It's like everything is out of balance... I mean I used to be the hero..... But now I... I can only just walk..... and I feel like I can never go back...." Barry was cut off by someone banging on the door.  
Barry visibly tensed.  
"Shh... It's okay. Keep talking" Encouraged Oliver. Barry went to continue but the person banging on the door started yelling.  
"Barry Allen! Open this door now!" It was Iris. Barry started to shake quite violently.  
"Shh... Barry it's okay, I'm here" He held Barry tighter.  
"Dad's here! He will break this door down!" She yelled, "I'm not going until I see you!"   
Barry mumbled something that Oliver didn't hear it but when Barry got up and limped quickly into the bathroom Oliver understood what he'd said.  
He heard the bathroom door slam and then he heard retching and it broke his heart to know that all of this pressure was making Barry physically sick.  
Iris kept banging on the door and Oliver knew she wasn't kidding when she said she'd break it down and so although he knew Barry wouldn't like it he had to open it.  
As soon as the door was open Iris ran in.  
"Barry! Barry! Where are you?!" She yelled,  
"Iris..." Started Oliver but she didn't hear him. "Iris." He tried again but still she didn't listen. "IRIS!" He yelled and she stopped and looked at him.  
"You need to leave." He simply said,  
"I'm not going until I see him." Said Iris,  
"He doesn't want you here. You need to go!" Half yelled Oliver getting annoyed.  
"You don't get to tell me that" Said Iris before shoving passed where Oliver stood and walking into the livingroom.  
"Barry where are you?" She called. Oliver went to say something else but the sounds of Barry throwing up got marginally louder.  
Iris instantly took off towards the bathroom. Throwing open the door she ran in and gasped at the scene infront of her.  
"Awh Barr..."She said crouching down to put a hand on his back in a comforting mannor.  
He instantly flinched and muttered something incoherrent. Once he'd finished throwing up he shuffled away from her touch.  
"Bar?" Questioned Iris,   
"You need to go." Said Barry,  
"What?" Asked Joe coming to crouch down infront of his as Iris currently was.  
Tears started to fall from Barry's eyes as he suffled further away from them and curled in on himself.  
"What's wrong Barry?" Asked Iris trying to reach out to him again.  
"Leave me alone... please.." cried Barry, moving away from her touch  
"Barry we're not leaving you like this." Said Iris. Suddenly something in Barry snapped.   
"Get out." He said through gritted teeth.  
"What?" Asked Iris. Barry stood up and Iris and Joe followed suit.  
"I said Get Out!" He half yelled as more tears began to fall.  
"Barry what ever is going on we can help, you just have to t...." Started Joe but Barry cut in.  
"Get the hell out!!!" He yelled shoving between the two of them, out of the bathroom door. He walked straight across the living room and into the bedroom. Both Joe and Iris heard the distinct sound of Barry locking his bedroom door.  
Iris went to follow him but Oliver stood in her way.  
"You heard him Iris. You need to go." He said calmly,  
"I need to help him," Argued Iris,  
"No you don't. I've been helping him for the last three weeks and you've just undone half of the progress I made so you need to leave so I can sort out the mess you just made," Said Oliver,  
"You don't get to say that," Said Iris,  
"You want to truth Iris. He doesn't trust you. You don't know whats going on now and even if you did you wouldn't understand so right now the only way you could help is if you go home and don't come back until you're invited." Said Oliver coldly.  
Iris didn't say anything instead she just walked out because she didn't want Oliver to see her cry. Joe followed her.  
Once they were out in the corridor she turned to Joe.  
"How could he say that dad? He has no right" She said,  
"I'm sorry baby, but it's true. You saw how Barry reacted. He's not himself right now. The best thing we can do is go home and get some rest because at least now we know that Barry is safe" Replied Joe.  
Iris nodded and the two headed for Joe's car to drive home.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .......... "Tell me...." Oliver thought for a minute, "If you could be anywhere now where would you be?" ..........

 

Barry was locked in his room. Oliver was in the living wondering what to do. How could everything he'd done, all of the trust he'd built up, fall apart in just five minutes?   
He walked over to the bedroom door. He knocked it lightly.  
"Barry...?" He called gently, "Barry?"  
There was no reply. Oliver tried calling out again but still no reply came. Oliver turned around and leaning against the door and sliding down so he was now sat on the floor with his back against the door. Now his head was right by the door he could hear the light sniffles and broken wimpers through the wood.  
"Bear?" He asked gently, "Please.... Tell me whats wrong?"  
Oliver heard Barry's breath hitch slightly, this caused a slight hiccup.  
"Okay.. Bear, you don't have to tell me whats wrong, but talk to me?" Asked Oliver,  
Barry sniffed. He barely mumbled something but Oliver couldn't work out what.  
"Tell me...." Oliver thought for a minute, "If you could be anywhere now where would you be?"  
Barry still didn't answer but instead there was another small hiccup sound.  
"If I'm honest I would like to be somewhere far away. Quite closed off. With just a few close friends" Said Oliver, "That's something I liked about the island. I mean once all of the prisoners were moved into proper prisons in other places and all of the bad people were off it became quite a nice tropical place."  
After ten minutes Oliver heard the click of the lock and the door opened slightly. Oliver got up and pushed the door to see Barry stood looking out of the window. Oliver just walked in and sat on the bed. They stayed like this for a while when Oliver heard a light sniffle. He got up and went to stand behind Barry. He gently put his hand on Barry's shoulder and turned him so they were face to face. Oliver could clearly see fresh tears falling from his eyes.  
"Ol...ver" Barry hiccuped. As Barry said this Oliver pulled him forward into a tight hug. "Awh Barry it's okay".  
Barry pulled away and as he did so Oliver shot him a confused look, until he caught Barry staring into his eyes with a look of want and longing. Oliver soon caught on and slowly he moved forward towards Barry. He slowly placed his hands on Barry's waist and Bary complied, putting his arms around Olivers neck and his head forward to close the gap and pressed their lips together. The two started to move lightly. Oliver was sucking Barry's bottom lip gently, nipping every now and again. Next he decided to step it up a little by gently licking Barry's bottom lip. He was careful when doing so, to make sure Barry was aware that he didn't have to comply, but much to Olivers surprise he opened his mouth and allowed Oliver's tounge to roam.   
After what felt like an eternity they unlocked their lips and caught their breath. Oliver studdied Barry's features for a minute. His cheeks were still stained with tears and his lips were gently shaking. He looked into Barry's eyes to see that they were full of unshed tears.   
Oliver reached forward and with his finger, gently he lifted Barry's head so he could look into his eyes.  
"What's wrong Bear?" Asked Oliver gently. A tear fell down Barry's cheek and Oliver was quick to wipe it away with the pad of his thumb.  
"I want to see it?" Asked Barry,  
"See what?" Responded Oliver,  
"I need to get away. Away from here...." Barry trailed off and mumbled at the end.  
"What did you say?" Asked Oliver gently,  
"Can we go to the island?" Asked Barry a little louder. "I want to see it and I need to get away".  
Oliver thought for a moment and Barry spoke up, breaking away from his touch.  
"I'm sorry. It's a terrible idea I shouldn't have....." Oliver cut him off.  
"No Barry, I was just thinking. I think it's a good idea. I think we could both do with some time away..." He paused for a moment before continuing, "It would also give us time to figure out.... us" Barry turned and smiled at him slightly, "I like what we have going. It feels right Barry.... When we kissed then.... for the first time I felt... I felt alive... I want to see where we can take this"  
Barry smiled brighter and ran over as best as he could and threw his arms around Oliver's neck and hugged him tightly.  
"I want to see what we have too. I love you Ollie..." Said Barry.  
"I love you too Barry." Oliver responded, once again kissing Barry gently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave Kudos and a Comment!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .......... "Barry, remember. If at any point this is all too much for you please call me and I'll be here. Okay?" ..........

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been going through some family and social issues and so I haven't really had the time to write but I have loads of ideas and we're almost at the end of Hurt and Confusion now and so I intend for it to be complete by the 2nd of June if now sooner!!!  
> Thank you for all of the positive feedback and I am sorry I haven't updated sooner!

Returning from Lianu was hard. Returning back to work was even harder. 

* * *

Oliver walked Barry into work that morning. As they walked into the lab Barry took in the surroundings as if he'd never been there before.  
"Barry, remember. If at any point this is all too much for you please call me and I'll be here. Okay?" Said Oliver. Barry just nodded in response.  
It was at that point Captain Singh walked in.  
"Mr Allen. You've finally returned?" He asked,  
"I... Yes..." Replied Barry shakily.  
"Well good because you have a lot of work to catch up on." Captain Singh handed Barry a file before turning and walking away.  
"We'll I guess that's my que to leave. I'll be here at one to pick you up for lunch okay?" Said Oliver,  
"Okay. Thank you." Replied Barry as Oliver bent down and kissed him gently on the lips.  
"I love you." Barry said quietly before the two said their farewells and Oliver left Barry to do some work.

* * *

It was half 11 when Oliver received the call. It was an unknown number. He was close to hitting ignore but something told him that he should answer.  
"Hello. This is Mr Queen speaking?" He said in a formal tone,  
"Hello. This is Caitlin." Replied a sweet femanine voice,  
"Caitlin? Why are you calling?" Asked Oliver getting more concerned by the second,  
"It's Barry. Something happened at work. Joe called us. We had to sedate him. He's currently in STAR Labs. Can you just get here as soon as possible." She explained,  
"I... Yes. I'll be there soon. I'm getting in the car now." Replied Oliver ending the call.  
Panick spread through him as he pulled out of park and started down the road. He had no idea what happened but he knew he had to be there for Barry. He promised him and he was not about to break that promise.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .......... "I.... I saw him... he... he was there Ollie....." ..........

Oliver sprinted into STAR Labs to see Caitlin, Cisco, Joe and Iris sat in the Cortex.  
"Where's Barry?" Asked Oliver concerned,  
"He's through there. We had to lock the door but he's awake now." Replied Caitlin walking over to unlock it.  
Oliver followed her and entered the room. When he did Caitlin closed the door and once again locked it.   
Oliver saw Barry sat up on the bed with his knees pulled firmly into his chest. He was shaking with tears.  
"Hey Bare... How are you doing?" Asked Oliver gently as he walked over and sat on the side of the bed. When Oliver sat down Barry shuffled over to allow him more space. Oliver moved further onto the bed putting his arm around Barry. Barry fell into Oliver's embrace, letting his tears flow freer than he had previously.  
"I... I saw him... he... he was there Ollie......" Cried Barry,  
"Oh.... Barry...." Said Oliver speechless.

Three months ago on Lianu.

"You want to know about Razz?" Asked Barry,  
"If you don't mind telling me" Replied Oliver,  
"Well... he was my boyfriend and he.... well he used to h.... hit me..... he'd get angry sometimes and blame me for stupid things. And well.... on... on occassion... he well it was a few occasions he...." Barry choked at this point. He felt a tear fall down his cheek.   
"Barry, he, I don't know how to ask this so I'm just going to say it... He raped you didn't he...?" Barry just nodded. The second he did so Oliver pulled Barry into a tight embrace and didn't let go for a good half hour.

Present Day

"You saw Razz?" Asked Oliver, "He was at the police station?"  
Barry nodded.  
"Oh Barry, thats it...."  
Half hour later Oliver and Barry went back to Barry's apartment. 

The next day stormed into the Courtex.  
"OLIVER!" Called Cisco, "Whats up?!"  
"I'm here to gather Barry's stuff and go." Said Oliver as he started putting Barry's stuff into a cardboard box.  
"What?" Asked Cisco, "Why?"  
"I can't keep him safe here. The same thing that happened yesterday could easily happen again so he'd coming to Starling with me. Now help me get his stuff or don't but I don't have time to talk. I've still got to go to the CCPD"

Finally Oliver had Barry's stuff in his car and he was on his way to the CCPD.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .......... "S...Stay away from me..... P...please Razz.... Leave me alone" ..........

Oliver arrived at the CCPD, walking straight into the office and up to Barry's lab. As he ascended the stairs he got confused looks from many of the police around him.  
He entered the office to see beakers were shattered, papers were everywhere and chemicals were spilt and dripping off surfaces.  
"Mr Queen!" Said Captain Singh confused,  
"What happened here?" Asked Oliver quietly,  
"We haven't had a chance to clean up since the incident with Barry yesturday..." Replied Singh.

**They Previous Day**  
Barry had just finished a file and was bringing it down for Singh to sign off when he heard a voice he knew too well.  
"Ah Mr Barry! This is Mr Howel. He just gave us some valid information for the CDS Case," As Captain Singh said this he froze. He felt light headed and he had to leave. Razz was here in his place of work. He wasn't safe here.  
"Hello, Mr Allen, it's nice to meet you," Said Mr Howel lifting a hand to shake Barry's with.   
Barry felt the file fall from his hands to the floor. Then he felt his feel moving as he started to run up the stairs to his lab. He couldn't breathe. He finally got into his lab when his legs buckled beneath him causing him to come crashing to the floor, taking out a shelf with him.  
The contents of it falling and breaking.  
"Barry!" Yelled Singh concerned as he saw the young CSI on the floor dazed.  
"Mr Allen are you okay?" Asked Razz running in after Singh.  
"S...stay away from me..." Stuttered Barry reaching around for any sort of weapon. He felt his hand get pricked by a piece of glass. He grabbed it swinging it around in front of himself to keep everyone back. He didn't care when he felt the blood seeping from the cuts made by holding the glass.  
"Barry calm down?" Said Singh trying to reason with Barry.  
Razz took a step forward towards Barry in an attempt to get close enough to retrieve the glass.  
"S...Stay away from me..... P...please Razz.... Leave me alone" Sobbed Barry as images of the abuse from Razz flashed through his head. He continued to swing the glass around.  
Singh gave Barry a puzzelled look, knowing that he hadn't told him Mr Howels first name was Razz.  
"Barry put the glass down... We can talk.." Said Singh,  
"Please d...don't hurt me Razz... Please... I'm... I'm sorry..." Barry sobbed.  
It was then Caitlin walked in followed by Cisco and Joe.  
"Barry" Called Cisco, trying to get his focus on him. "You need to calm down."  
Cisco kept talking to Barry as Caitlin got close eough to Barry to retrieve the broken glass. But sadly it wasn't before he managed to cut her arm with it. Luckily the cut wasn't deep and would just need cleaning.  
"Barry, calm down..." Said Caitlin. Barry just thrashed around and yelled at the all to stay away. And so much to Caitlin's dissmay she had to reach into her pocket and pull out a needle.  
"This will help you relax okay Barry," Said Caitlin and although Barry tried to fight her she managed to get it into his arm.   
Soon enough Barry was unconsious with his head resting in Caitlins lap as she gently stroked his hair.  
"Captain, Joe, could you please help me get him into the van." She asked. The two nodded and lifted Barry down the stairs and into the van. Just after they left Cisco and Razz were left alone.  
Little did Razz know, when Barry was first hurt by Razz, Cisco had been there. Cisco had seen it.  
Cisco remembered it well. Barry had been in the Courtex at STAR Labs when Razz came in screaming that he was late. Cisco was in the training room and saw the whole thing.

"You?" Said Cisco,  
"Me What?" Asked Razz,  
"You're the one that hurt Barry." Replied Cisco surely,  
"I don't know what you're on about." Replied Razz smugly,  
"I was there that night when you came into STAR Labs looking for Barry. I know what you did." Then it all clicked in Cisco's mind. "You're the reason Barry kicked off like that."  
Razz's smile faded and he was about to make a run for it when Cisco started yelling for help, for the officers to come.  
Razz was almost out of the door when Eddie was in the way, along with three or four other detectives.  
Cisco explained what had happened and Razz was arrested for further questioning.

**Back to present day.**

"Mr Queen, why are you here?" Asked Singh,  
"I'm here to collect some of Barry's things. After what happened he's coming to live with me in Starling City for a while." Replied Oliver,  
"Oh..." Replied Singh suprised before saying, "It'll do him some good to get away for a while."

That afternoon Oliver managed to gather all of Barry's items and tidey up his lab.   
Now all that was left was to wait for Felicity and Diggle to get to STAR Labs with the car so that he and Barry could go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last but one chapter!!!! We're almost there!   
> I hope you liked this chapter xx


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .......... Then he said quiet enough for only Barry to hear, "I think it's time." ..........

When Felicity and Diggle arrived in Central City, Oliver had them go straight to Barry's appartment, to gather clothes and his toothbrush. Then they went to STAR Labs to get Barry. Soon enough they were on the road and on their way to Starling City.  
The whole way there Oliver was thinking of what he needed to say to Barry.

**On Lianu**

"Barry, I really like you," Said Oliver simply,  
"What?" Asked Barry, slightly taken-a-back,  
"Barry, I want to spend the rest of my life with you," Said Oliver,  
"Oliver? What are you saying?" Asked Barry once again,  
"Barry when we get back to Central City, I want you to marry me." Replied Oliver.   
"But what if something gets in the way?" Asked Barry,  
"We don't have to do it right away. We'll know when the time is right." Oliver replied.  
Barry felt tears come to his eyes as he threw himself on Oliver hugging him tightly.

**Present Day.**

With out a word, Oliver reached over and took Barry's hand in his.  
Then he said quiet enough for only Barry to hear, "I think it's time."  
Barry nodded feeling a smile come onto his lips, then he lent towards Oliver catching his lips with his own.

 

**20 Years Later**

 

"I'm going to miss you," Said Barry wiping a tear off his face. Oliver had an arm around around Barry's waist, holding him close.

"Dad I'll be back in two weeks for the weekend." Replied Lizzie, 

"I know, but you're going to be all the way in KeyStone." Replied Oliver,

"For what it's worth I'm going to miss you too." 

Lizzie hugged her dads before getting into the car and heading off for Keystone University.

As Oliver and Barry re-entered the house Oliver looked over and saw the news was on. It was then a familiar face popped up.

"Bare!" Called Oliver.

Barry turned to see what was on. Oliver could feel his face lighting up.

 

"Today Razz Howel has been given the life sentence at Iron Heights Maximum Security. After ten years of on and off sentencing, today the jury came to the decision that Mr Howel was guilty of rape, assault and murder."

 

Barry felt a tear fall down his face.

"Bare, are you okay?" Asked Oliver,

"I... It's over. It's finally over." Replied Barry,

"Yes Barry, It's over" Oliver replied pulling Barry into a hug before Barry pulled away. Just as Oliver was about to ask what was wrong Barry brought his lips crashing down on Oliver's in a passionate kiss.

 

 

The End

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOO It's finished!!!! Finally!!! I really hope you all liked how it ended and I hope you all read my other fanfics!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave Kudos and a Comment!!!!


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